This post is being sponsored by AdamandEve.com and they’ve offered us a coupon code for the Bitchery!
Here is the most important information:
AdamandEve.com is offering Smart Bitches readers 50% off a single item plus free standard shipping in the US and Canada with code SMART. Please note: certain exclusions apply, but the coupon covers most of the store.
I’ve titled this post “Summer Lovin'” as a reminder to, if you can, slow down and take some time for yourself (and/or your partner) during the lazy season. Also, yes…I hope the song is stuck in your head.
This post is extremely NSFW! You have been warned!
This is a sleek and discreet travel vibrator with ten different vibration modes. It also contains a hidden compartment, if you wanted to fill it with lube or toy cleaner without worrying about the 3oz liquids limit. Very clever!
I personally think this is a fantastic deal! Three toys for under $50?! I also find them to be super cute, if aesthetics matter to you in terms of toy choices. The set contains three separate bullet vibrators with different tips for a variety of sensation. I myself am a bullet evangelist and I’m tempted to grab these for myself.
I’m really digging the design and color palette of this one. This vibe has two distinct sensations. One is vibration and the other is a thumping mode; both have ten different patterns each. Please note that this is only compatible with water-based lubricants.
For all you readers who love a bit of whimsy, check out this mushroom-inspired vibrator! This one boasts 15 stimulation modes and is rechargeable. I honestly hate messing around with batteries, as inevitably things will die mid-use/ Nothing kills the mood quite like hunting for AAAs in your junk drawer or figuring out which remote to steal them from.
Honestly, I could do a whole post on cute toys that look like other things. (Should I?) This rechargeable vibrator can run up to 90 minutes on a single charge, which is hella impressive. Plus, it’s waterproof and comes with a variety of vibration settings.
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Thank you to Adam and Eve for the coupon, and for sponsoring this post!
Don’t forget – AdamandEve.com is offering Smart Bitches readers 50% off a single item plus free standard shipping in the US and Canada with code SMART. Please note: certain exclusions apply, but the coupon covers most of the store.
I hope you’re able to do something special for yourself this summer! If you have other recommendations from Adam & Eve, please leave them in the comments below.
I went to my first Los Angeles Kings game around 1986, when they still played at the Forum, wore the original uniforms, and weren’t a playoff team.
By the end of the first period, my fandom was cemented. I loved how fast the game moved. I loved how weird it was to play ice hockey in Southern California. I loved that nobody I knew was into hockey, so this was something that belonged to me. In the 80s, being a hockey fan in LA was to be part of a subculture that took a little bit of work. Like, it was easy to be a Lakers fan during Showtime. The Dodgers weren’t that great in the mid-80s, but by 1988 they were in the World Series again, while the Kings were pretty mid, if my memory is correct.
Years and years ago, I wrote something about how much I loved getting off of work at Paramount, driving down La Cienega through the oil fields, and sneaking into Inglewood around the traffic on the 405 and 110. I would have been 16 or so, maybe just barely 17, when Gretzky came to the Kings, and my subculture exploded into very mainstream Los Angeles sports culture. I took an extended break from the NHL — and all sports, really — when my kids were little. We couldn’t justify the expense for tickets, and when I had a choice between going out for something or staying home and enjoying my family’s company, I always stayed home.
But in … I think it was 2010? 2011? … the Kings were in the playoffs against St. Louis, a couple seasons before they won their first Stanley Cup. I knew from experience that there is nothing in the world like playoff hockey, and that I had my best chance to introduce Anne to the sport, the team, and that part of me. So we went to game 3 of the series (I’m going from memory. I could look all this up and be sure about the dates, but I’m going to write this parenthetical, instead.) We sat behind the goal, about 7 rows up, not the best place to get a full view of the game and watch plays develop, but really great for dropping you right into the middle of the whole thing.
Anne was completely on board by like the third or fourth whistle. She was hollering with me, stomping her feet, the whole thing. It was great. We got season tickets the following season, and we have had them ever since.
Last night, she had an art class she’s been looking forward to for weeks, that she joind before the playoff schedule was set, so I took our son, Nolan, with me. He’s been so busy with so many things, we haven’t had many opportunities lately to just go out and hang, so I was looking forward to that even more than the game, itself.
Holy shit the game, itself. I’ve been feeling like this team is the first team the Kings have put out in years that has a real chance to get past Edmonton. Fucking FINALLY. As I wrote only semi-jokingly in yesterday’s post, Edmonton has one line and a bunch of guys. Their goalie is very beatable, and if the Kings can shut down McDavid (who, we all have to admit is the greatest player in the world right now), they should advance.
The vibe inside Staples Center was immaculate. Fans chanting in the streets, in the concourse ahead of the game, in our seats before they introduced the players. For the first time since opening night, the place looked to be nearly sold out. It was the playoffs, man, and it nourished my soul to be there.
The game was exciting and nerve wracking. The Kings took their foot off the gas at the beginning of the third, as is traditional, and let the Oilers back in. McDavid did his thing (I hope Edmonton nerds know how lucky they are to watch him year after year) and I felt roughly 17000 people go “oh fuck my life not this again”.
And then.
And then, Phillip Danault and Warren Foegele did this, with 7 seconds left.
Phillip Danault (off camera right) snaps a shot on Jeff Skinner that flutters in for a goal, while Warren Foegele leaps out of the way. (via reddit)
Nolan and I jumped up out of our seats so fast and so hard, we practically hit our heads on the roof.
The Kings held on for seven intense seconds, and after blowing a huge lead, managed to win it 6-5 in regulation. It’s the first time they’ve won a playoff game in regulation in three years. I screamed so much, my throat hurts today and my voice is hoarse. Not the best thing before I start an audiobook tomorrow. Good thing I heal like Wolverine.
On the drive home, I looked over at Nolan and said, “Look, it’s the playoffs, and I would never admit to this in public or on my blog, but it’s after 10 already and I did not want to be leaving here after 11, so I feel like not only did the Kings win, we also won.”
“Yeah, I wasn’t going to say anything, but … yeah.”
We laughed about that a little bit.
I said, “I guess I know that I’m old and tired because I’m not completely sure I wouldn’t have suggested we race home during the intermission so I could watch OT on TV and then roll right into bed. I don’t even know who I am.”
He started to reply, then said, “Look out!” because a stupid fucking dipshit idiot driver whipped across three lanes without signaling to gain a car length while I was — with my turn indicator on because oh my fucking god why is that so hard for you people to do — safely changing lanes like an adult.
I yanked my wheel back to my left, was grateful I drive a Mini with a low center of gravity, and dad mode automatically engaged. “You fucking idiot fuck,” I spat at that guy. “My fucking kid is right here! What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“You okay? Sorry about that.”
“Yeah, that was intense.”
My parental anger faded as quickly as it flared. “I’m really glad you saw that. I would have missed it entirely.” In my dad brain, a vivid series of violent car crashes played in high speed.
“I barely did.”
“Yikes. That’s scary. We were so close to being in a serious crash because of that guy, and he probably has no idea.” I wondered how many more near collisions this dude would cause on his way to wherever he was going.
“Yep.”
We drove in silence for a little bit. And then, after we’d merged onto the 134, I said the thing that had been on my mind since we’d left the house hours earlier.
“I’m so grateful you chose to come to the game tonight. Thank you for making a special memory with me. I cherish this time together, and I want you to know that.”
“I do know that, but I’m still glad you said it. I didn’t expect to have as much fun as I did. It reminded me of the times we went before.”
“That was so much fun. I’m so happy that you remember it the way I do.”
When Nolan was in high school, the Kings had ticket packs for super cheap (they were NOT a good team, then) so I got him like 6 games for Christmas, mostly so we had an excuse to go do something together. At one of the games, we were screaming and cheering for the boys and they put us on the Jumbotron. Someone in the organization grabbed it, and made that video snip part of the opening montage for the rest of that year. Every game I went to, with Nolan and without, I got to see it and remember how fun it was when it happened. It was so long ago, the memories have faded to a point where they are unreliable. Last night was an echo of those memories, and it refreshed them enough to restore their clarity.
Anne’s got tickets to a show tomorrow, and Nolan is my first choice, if he’s feeling it, to be my +1. So maybe we’ll get to make another memory together tomorrow night that involves the Kings going to Edmonton up 2 games to none.
If you’d like to get these updates in your inbox, here’s the thingy:
Also, before I go, I am on Michael Rosenbaum’s podcast, Inside of You, this week. I’m working on a post about it, just struggling to get WordPress to play nice with a bit of embedded video. Until then, here are some quick links:
Any author can tell you that events in their own life can have an impact on their fiction. As we learn in Heather Tracy’s Big Idea for Only a Chapter, sometimes those events have a bigger impact than we might have expected.
HEATHER TRACY:
When I began writing what would become Only a Chapter back in 2015, the working title I had then was “Faceless Man.” I knew I wasn’t going to call the book that, but I couldn’t come up with anything better. I still have several drafts of the original version saved with that name on my computer.
The big idea for the original version of the book came from dreams I had in high school through college of a faceless man who would do huge romantic things like fly me on a private jet to New York City to see Phantom of the Opera on Broadway with the original cast, then he proposed. The dreams were always very vivid, and I could always tell the man was wearing a tuxedo, but I could never see his face. Sometime after dating my now-husband for a while, I realized that when he and I originally met at my senior prom, he was wearing a tux. In different ways, a lot of the things in my dreams did happen, but much less sensationally. For instance, before he proposed, he took me to see a local production of A Chorus Line.
In “Faceless Man,” Clare had these dreams, they pointed her to this dream guy, and that was about it. The story was fun, but pretty flat. There wasn’t enough heart. There wasn’t enough tension. I put the book to the side for almost nine years.
Then, after completing breast cancer treatment in early 2023, big idea number two hit me (seriously, I can never have just one big idea for these things): What would happen if Clare had breast cancer, but also, what would happen if she didn’t? What if the story had two timelines with the ways her life could go if that dreaded phone call went two different ways? I had obviously been contemplating this scenario in my own life and thought it would be therapeutic to work it out through my fiction.
The final version of the book still has the faceless-person dreams, but this time, they’re different depending on the timeline. Clare’s bisexual, and in one timeline the dreams start pointing her toward a male, and in the other a female. In the timeline where she has breast cancer, the cancer diagnosis and story are my own, though fictionalized slightly to work within the confines of the narrative.
Oh, and the title? When I announced on social media that I had breast cancer back in 2022, I said on social media that “Cancer is only going to be a chapter in my life, and not the whole story.” Thus, Only a Chapter was born.
1. Whoops2. It's fine, I'm fine, I'm going to the dentist literally right now to have it fixed3. When you lose a crown and put it under your pillow, the tooth fairy does not leave you so much as a nickel, in what world is this even remotely fair
Ever have that dream where your teeth fall out? Well, it’s not a dream in my case; last night, while chewing, one of my crowns tried to escape. Fortunately I realized what was happening before I bit down, and therefore saved the thing for the appointment my accommodating dentist arranged for me this morning.
The good news is the crown is now safely back in my head; the less great news is now this formerly-permanent crown is a temporary, and I have to go back in a couple of weeks to get a new permanent crown. Dentistry is confusing, y’all.
Anyway, that’s been my last 15 hours. How are you?
If you are looking for a cozy fantasy read with excellent romance and worldbuilding, I highly recommend Letters to the Luminous Deep.
A charming fantasy set in an underwater world with magical academia and a heartwarming penpal romance, perfect for fans of A Marvellous Light, Emily Wilde’s Encylopaedia of Faeries and The House in the Cerulean Sea.
“An underwater treasure-chest to be slowly unpacked, full of things I adore: nosy and loving families, epistolary romance, gorgeous worldbuilding, and anxious scholars doing their best to meet the world with kindness and curiosity.” —Freya Marske, author of A Marvellous Light
A beautiful discovery outside the window of her underwater home prompts the reclusive E. to begin a correspondence with renowned scholar Henerey Clel. The letters they share are filled with passion, at first for their mutual interests, and then, inevitably, for each other.
Together, they uncover a mystery from the unknown depths, destined to transform the underwater world they both equally fear and love. But by no mere coincidence, a seaquake destroys E.’s home, and she and Henerey vanish.
A year later, E.’s sister Sophy, and Henerey’s brother Vyerin, are left to solve the mystery, piecing together the letters, sketches and field notes left behind—and learn what their siblings’ disappearance might mean for life as they know it.
Inspired, immersive, and full of heart, this charming epistolary tale is an adventure into the depths of a magical sea and the limits of the imagination from a marvelous debut voice.
Swordcrossed by Freya Marske is $2.99! Many of us were very excited for this release. Sarah also had Marske on the podcast to talk about it.
High heat. Low stakes. Sharp steel.
The cozy, low stakes of Legends & Lattes meets the scorching bodyguard fantasy of Jennifer L. Armentrout’s From Blood and Ash in this enemies-to-lovers romance where, yes, the swords do cross.
A LitHub most anticipated book of 2024
Mattinesh Jay, dutiful heir to his struggling family business, needs to hire an experienced swordsman to serve as best man for his arranged marriage. Sword-challenge at the ceremony could destroy all hope of restoring his family’s wealth, something that Matti has been trying—and failing—to do for the past ten years.
What he can afford, unfortunately, is part-time con artist and full-time charming menace Luca Piere.
Luca, for his part, is trying to reinvent himself in a new city. All he wants to do is make some easy money and try to forget the crime he committed in his hometown. He didn’t plan on being blackmailed into giving sword lessons to a chronically responsible—and inconveniently handsome—wool merchant like Matti.
However, neither Matti’s business troubles nor Luca himself are quite what they seem. As the days count down to Matti’s wedding, the two of them become entangled in the intrigue and sabotage that have brought Matti’s house to the brink of ruin. And when Luca’s secrets threaten to drive a blade through their growing alliance, both Matti and Luca will have to answer the how many lies are you prepared to strip away, when the truth could mean losing everything you want?
“There’s nothing in fantasy or queer romance that Marske can’t do.”—Sarah Rees Brennan
Dream Girl Drama by Tessa Bailey is $1.99! This is book three in the Big Shots series, which are sports romances. I believe Elyse has enjoyed these! Fingers crossed this deal doesn’t poof!
A steamy chance encounter between a professional hockey player and the manic pixie dream girl he just can’t seem to forget takes a turn when the pair realize that their parents are engaged—in an all-new rom-com by #1 New York Times bestselling author Tessa Bailey.
When professional hockey player Sig Gauthier’s car breaks down and his phone dies, he treks into a posh private country club to call a tow truck, where he encounters the alluring Chloe Clifford, the manic pixie dream girl who captivates him immediately with her sense of adventure and penchant for stealing champagne.
Sparks fly during a moonlight kiss and the enamored pair can’t wait to see each other again, but when Sig finally arrives to meet his dad’s new girlfriend over dinner, Chloe is confusingly also there. Turns out the girlfriend is Chloe’s mother. Oh, and they’re engaged.
Sig’s dream girl is his future stepsister.
Though the pair is now wary of being involved romantically, Chloe, a sheltered harp prodigy, yearns to escape her controlling mother. Sig promises to teach her the ins and outs of independence in Boston—but not inside his bedroom. They both know there can never be more than friendship between a famous hockey player and his high-society, soon-to-be stepsister. But keeping their relationship platonic grows harder amid the developing family drama, especially knowing they were meant for so much more…
A Master of Djinn by P. Djèlí Clark is $2.99! I picked this one for a previous Hide Your Wallet. Historical fantasy mystery with a badass main character and a supportive girlfriend.
Nebula, Locus, and Alex Award-winner P. Djèlí Clark returns to his popular alternate Cairo universe for his fantasy novel debut, A Master of Djinn
Cairo, 1912: Though Fatma el-Sha’arawi is the youngest woman working for the Ministry of Alchemy, Enchantments and Supernatural Entities, she’s certainly not a rookie, especially after preventing the destruction of the universe last summer.
So when someone murders a secret brotherhood dedicated to one of the most famous men in history, al-Jahiz, Agent Fatma is called onto the case. Al-Jahiz transformed the world 50 years ago when he opened up the veil between the magical and mundane realms, before vanishing into the unknown. This murderer claims to be al-Jahiz, returned to condemn the modern age for its social oppressions. His dangerous magical abilities instigate unrest in the streets of Cairo that threaten to spill over onto the global stage.
Alongside her Ministry colleagues and her clever girlfriend Siti, Agent Fatma must unravel the mystery behind this imposter to restore peace to the city – or face the possibility he could be exactly who he seems…
This HaBO is from Britain, who wants to find this romance:
I was hoping you could maybe help me find the title of this book I’ve read a couple of years ago.
I don’t remember much, but I remember the heroine working in social media or something like that and she wants to create a platform/app for women and their body sizes. Heroine meets the hero (who I believe plays sports. I don’t remember if it was hockey or boxing or something else) at dinner with her friend who is also her partner for this platform/app. Somebody takes a photo of the heroine and hero standing close to each other, making everyone assuming they’re dating. They enter a fake dating arrangement, but later on the heroine ends the arrangement when she see photos of the hero with another woman taken during the hero’s night out celebrating the team’s win. It turns out the other woman is a friend of the hero and he has been helping this woman by pretending to her boyfriend because she gets harassed a lot by men since her body developed early. That’s all I can remember. I think it was an indie book so maybe it’s not that known.
Any lead would be appreciated! I’ve been hunting this for a while now.
A small-town waitress and a big-city Broadway press agent swap homes to escape the messiness of their personal lives, only to find new purpose—and new love.
Tatum Ward and Eleanor Chapman lead totally opposite lives. Tatum’s never left her Midwestern hometown. She resides in a quaint guest cottage on her parents’ property while working part-time as a waitress, where she spends most shifts ignoring her feelings for a beautiful regular named June. Eleanor dedicates every waking hour to her high-profile press career, sacrificing personal relationships for professional success, save for the occasional hookup to fight off her loneliness. When both women’s lives unexpectedly blow up at the exact same time, they each need an escape, and fast.
In Tatum’s hometown, Eleanor expects a quiet hideaway where she can recharge. Instead she gets wrapped up in the family drama that Tatum left town to avoid, pulled in by Tatum’s charismatic older sibling, Carson, who charms Eleanor at every turn. Tatum ends up in Eleanor’s New York high-rise apartment with June. One week together in the big city might make it impossible for Tatum to avoid not just her true feelings for June, but her real dreams for her life.
Amid a friendship with a reclusive Hollywood actress and a complicated family reunion, Tatum and Eleanor each discover much more than they bargained for away from home. Their house swap won’t last forever, but it might be just long enough for both women to surrender their defenses and finally fight for the life—and love—they deserve.
Sarah: Aside from having one of the most beautiful covers, I have a quiet weakness for house-swap romances.
From the author of Bad Reputation comes a smart and sexy second-chance romance, where exes reunite to adapt a memoir, only to discover that after a decade apart, they might finally be ready for more.
Working with your ex isn’t that bad an idea—not with artistic integrity on the line. Jaime Croft is determined to prove his directorial range, and Scarlett Arbuthnot’s biography is the perfect project. He once thought Scarlett was his perfect match too, but it’s been seventeen years. Surely he’s over it by now.
Or maybe not.
Scarlett is a grand master taking the chess world by storm. If she can handle that pressure, she can handle Jaime Croft. Even if that means working together in close quarters…and constant reminders of how she broke his heart. She didn’t do it without reason, but if he knew the details, he would despise her even more.
As Jaime and Scarlett pore over her memoir, they unlock their own memories, and old feelings rise to the surface. But giving in means abandoning the walls they’ve built to protect themselves, and that’s a move neither one seems ready to make.
Emma Barry’s books have been recommended before and this one features a grand master chess player as the heroine!
Two writers compete for the chance to tell the larger-than-life story of a woman with more than a couple of plot twists up her sleeve in this dazzling and sweeping new novel from Emily Henry.
Alice Scott is an eternal optimist still dreaming of her big writing break. Hayden Anderson is a Pulitzer-prize winning human thundercloud. And they’re both on balmy Little Crescent Island for the same reason: To write the biography of a woman no one has seen in years—or at least to meet with the octogenarian who claims to be the Margaret Ives. Tragic heiress, former tabloid princess, and daughter of one of the most storied (and scandalous) families of the 20th Century.
When Margaret invites them both for a one-month trial period, after which she’ll choose the person who’ll tell her story, there are three things keeping Alice’s head in the game.
One: Alice genuinely likes people, which means people usually like Alice—and she has a whole month to win the legendary woman over.
Two: She’s ready for this job and the chance to impress her perennially unimpressed family with a Serious Publication.
Three: Hayden Anderson, who should have no reason to be concerned about losing this book, is glowering at her in a shaken-to-the core way that suggests he sees her as competition.
But the problem is, Margaret is only giving each of them pieces of her story. Pieces they can’t swap to put together because of an ironclad NDA and an inconvenient yearning pulsing between them every time they’re in the same room.
And it’s becoming abundantly clear that their story—just like the tale Margaret’s spinning—could be a mystery, tragedy, or love ballad…depending on who’s telling it.
Lara: I will read anything Emily Henry writes, even though it always makes me cry.
It’s that time again! Here’s my 2025 Stanley Cup Playoffs bracket, something that is always fun for me to write for the eleven people in the world who care about it. (Hi! I’m glad you’re all here!)
Round One
Campbell Western Conference
Vegas vs. Minnesota
As much as I very intensely dislike VGK, they aren’t pulling that IR bullshit from years past, so I grudgingly set that moniker aside this year. Minnesota is in the playoffs because of the ridiculous start to their season. The Wild (I almost typed North Stars, sigh) are hurt, and the last six weeks of the regular season were brutal for them. If the team that we saw at the beginning of the season shows up, they will give Vegas a serious run. They looked pretty great yesterday, and boy did they make Vegas work for the win at Medieval Times Arena. I still favor Vegas, though. They have most of a team has been here before, and they know how to win in the playoffs. I expect Minnesota to take at least one of their home games, and I think this one goes to 6 before Vegas advances.
Winnipeg vs St. Louis
The Jets have the best record in hockey for a reason that goes beyond Connor Hellebuyck. In the old 1 plays 8 days, I’d give The Blues a stronger upset chance, but I think they’re just outmatched here. This is the only sweep in the first round. Winnipeg in 4.
Dallas vs. Colorado
My heart wants to cheer for Dallas, because my dear friend Stepto (may his memory be a blessing) loved them the way I love my Kings. Colorado isn’t going to make it easy. Blackwood will steal a game for the Avs, and yesterday was not that game; the Stars lost that one all on their own. This series will go 6, maybe even 7, but the Stars are moving on to face the ‘Peg.
Los Angeles vs. Connor McDavid
This is our year. Fucking finally. The Kings have a team that can neutralize Edmonton’s line. The Kings are hot as hell right now, and have home ice advantage, where they had the best home record in the league (like, it wasn’t even close). Kuemper is locked in and Skinner has looked shaky. Edmonton has the best player in the world, another generational talent, and 24 other guys. For the first time in four seasons, the Kings have 4 lines who can score and a goalie who can keep them in it. Kings in 6.
WalesEastern Conference Round One
Toronto vs. Ottawa
Brady, I’m real happy for you, and ima let you finish, but Toronto actually looks like a hockey team this year, and the Senators are just beginning to draw back the curtains, and open their Cup window. This isn’t Ottawa’s year, which is fucking crazy because it’s NEVER Toronto’s year. They have an incredibly rich history of finding truly creative ways to lose, but I’m picking Toronto because it serves a greater narrative. Leafs in 5.
Tampa Bay vs. Florida
Ah, the battle of America’s Wang. A playoff series for the ages that will live in the pages of hist– yawn I’m sorry I drifted off there thinking about this. These teams are basically even for me, but I freely admit I don’t pay much attention to them during the regular season, so I am absolutely missing a lot of nuance. But given the Panthers’ win last year by a team that they largely kept together, and the absolutely insane leveling up in Matthew Tkachuk’s play during Four Nations, I’m picking the Panthers in 5.
Washington vs. Montreal
Remember when the Habs were this unstoppable force? Remember when the Habs could score one and shut the door? This is not them. This team is mid af, just good enough to make it into the post season, but missing a lot of the parts it needs to go deep. I despise Ovechkin’s Team Putin bullshit, and for that reason alone I want them to get swept. But let’s be honest: the caps are a fucking incredible team who are going to be an autoaxe with legendary mods against Montreal’s weak feral ghouls. Anything can happen in this league on any night (the reason the NHL is the best league) so don’t count them out entirely, but I wouldn’t worry about having to change tee times with those guys in the beginning of April. Washington in 5.
Carolina vs. New Jersey
Hey, did you know the Devils are in the playoffs? Can you name one of their players? I just realized I can’t, and that means I haven’t paid attention to them at all this year. Meanwhile, after I retired Blaine Gretzky because the guy I named him after turned out to be garbage, I started a new create a pro game. My player wears #13, and his name is Johnny Marlowe. He plays for Carolina, and I have developed the same emotional connection to the real team that I had for the Kraken during Blaine’s career. I could come up with stats and reasons to support my choice, but where’s the fun in that? I’m picking Carolina for a silly reason, but it’s still a reason. Hurricanes in 7 because I presume New Jersey has some Dark Horse thing I don’t know about and that makes for good drama.
Round 2
Jets vs. Stars
This one goes 7 and Winnipeg wins in OT. Sorry, Stepto.
Kings vs Vegas
The Kings teams that won the Stanley Cup were built to grind down opponents over a 7 game series. Even when San Jose went up 3-0, the Kings were able to just check them into submission and come all the way back. This Kings team does not play that way, and the longer the series goes, the more it favors the other team. Sure, I could write a script where they do it again against all the odds and blah blah blah, but everything is terrible and I just want some excitement, so I’m giving this to the Kings in 4. Yeah, you read that correctly. Kings sweep Vegas in round two. Book it.
Toronto vs. Florida
In the second game of the second round, something happens in the second intermission. Down a game and trailing, a Toronto team that’s been struggling to keep up with the defending champions breaks through in that third period and never looks back. GG, Florida. Leafs in 7.
Washington vs. Carolina
Some of you may notice that I stealth edited this in, after weirdly forgetting to include it originally. This series is back and forth the entire time. Nobody has a clear advantage, beyond Washington’s power play which is really just Ovechkin on the left side. It’s not enough, and Carolina squeaks past in a series that goes 7 games.
Conference Final
Kings vs. Jets
In reality, this is where the Kings go home.
Yeah screw that. In my story, this is a seven game series. The Kings steal a game in OT, we see at least one goalie battle, but the difference comes from Los Angeles’ young players. Byfield, Fiala, Laferriere and Turcotte surprise everyone with their maturity and composure in big situations. Kopitar and Doughty have been here before, and their experience both leads the other players and neutralizes the half a step or so they’re behind due to age and injury. Kuepmer doesn’t quite give us vintage Quick, but what he does give us rhymes with vintage quick. Winnipeg fully expects to win this at home, not unreasonably. But they didn’t count on this guy over here being the writer, and the Kings win it at home in game 7, right in front of me.
Toronto vs Carolina
It’s a classic Leafs vs Whalers matchup, just like the old days of 2002! Eddie Shore! Old Time Hockey! This is the series where Auston Matthews finally gets the national and casual fan attention he has deserved his entire career. Attention that has eluded him, because, come on, it’s Toronto. The Whale does not make it easy for the Leafs to win the series in 6 games.
Stanley Cup Final
It is the match-up we have all needed since 1993: a replay of the last time the Kings and the Leafs went deep in the playoffs, only this time it’s for the Big One. Leafs Nation wants revenge for the high stick that was not called, while Los Angeles desperately needs a series win that encourages our toxic trait of pretending that never happened. The drama is off the charts for this final. It’s Canada vs. USA. It’s East vs. West. It’s The Past vs. The Future. It’s so much better than whatever is really going to happen (which to be clear will still be cool) because there is no other potential Final match-up that carries this weight. It’s a series for the ages. No game is decided by more than one goal, at least two games to to OT, including game 7. The game and series and Stanley Cup winner comes from a Kopitar snipe at the top of the left circle, short-handed.
Okay, that’s the way I want this to go. And, if we accept that there are an infinite number of potential realities, all of them just beyond our perception, this is the way it will go, in at least one of them. So maybe it’ll be this one.
What do you think? I can talk about hockey the way I can talk about Star Trek. Let’s talk about it! Who are you cheering for? Who do you want to win? Who do you think will win?
And am I the only one who feels like the Stanley Cup Playoffs are always cool, but absolutely taking a back seat to the Four Nations Tournament this year?
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HIGHLY RECOMMENDED: Network Effect by Martha Wells is $2.99! This is the first full-length Murderbot novel, which Sarah reviewed. The next book, Fugitive Telemetry, is also on sale. Sarah also has these glowing things to say:
I cannot encourage you more vociferously to grab this on sale, and read the series (possibly more than once). It, no exaggeration, got me through 2020, it is the series I find comfort in, and I cannot recommend it with more affection. Please do not miss out on this sale.
You know that feeling when you’re at work, and you’ve had enough of people, and then the boss walks in with yet another job that needs to be done right this second or the world will end, but all you want to do is go home and binge your favorite shows? And you’re a sentient murder machine programmed for destruction? Congratulations, you’re Murderbot.
I’m usually alone in my head, and that’s where 90 plus percent of my problems are.
When Murderbot’s human associates (not friends, never friends) are captured and another not-friend from its past requires urgent assistance, Murderbot must choose between inertia and drastic action.
I liked the painstaking and careful character development of the first half more than the zoomy-zoom plot of the second half, but the foundation of historical fiction and incredible detail coupled with folk magic, ghosts, and negotiating with spirits made this an exceptionally fun, absorbing, and thoughtful story.
A woman able to communicate with spirits must assemble a ragtag crew to pull off a daring heist to save her community in this timely and dazzling historical fantasy that weaves together African American folk magic, history, and romance.
Washington D. C., 1925
Clara Johnson talks to spirits, a gift that saved her during her darkest moments in a Washington D. C. jail. Now a curse that’s left her indebted to the cunning spirit world. So, when the Empress, the powerful spirit who holds her debt, offers her an opportunity to gain her freedom, a desperate Clara seizes the chance. The task: steal a magical ring from the wealthiest woman in the District.
Clara can’t pull off this daring heist alone. She’ll need help from an unlikely team, from a jazz musician capable of hypnotizing with a melody to an aging vaudeville actor who can change his face, to pull off the impossible. But as they encounter increasingly difficult obstacles, a dangerous spirit interferes at every turn. Conflict in the spirit world is leaking into the human one and along D.C’.s legendary Black Broadway, a mystery unfolds—one that not only has repercussions for Clara but all of the city’s residents.
You, with a View by Jessice Joyce is $1.99! This was previously mentioned on Hide Your Wallet and was recommended as part of my Smart Bitches After Dark quarterly recommendations that I offer to subscribers. Social media and road trip elements play a large part of this romance.
Two high school enemies must reunite for a road trip inspired by their grandparents’ broken engagement in this electric debut romance.
Noelle Shepard is unemployed, living with her parents, and grieving the loss of her beloved grandmother when she discovers decades-old photos of Gram and a smitten man, tucked alongside a love letter. She creates a TikTok to search for the mystery man, which goes viral, and she’s shocked when his grandson responds—a man who happens to be her high school nemesis, Theo Spencer.
Noelle refuses to let Theo’s annoying accomplishments in adulthood—or his sexy smirk—stand in the way of meeting his grandfather and unlocking the secrets he knew about her gram as a young woman. When she learns that their plans to elope were thwarted, Noelle decides to take the honeymoon road trip they planned but never got to carry out. There’s a catch, though: Paul, Theo’s grandfather, asks to come with her, and he insists that Theo join them.
It’ll be a miracle if they make it through the trip without Noelle throwing Theo out of the moving car—or the bed they end up sharing. As the miles tick by, the tension simmers hotter between them…until she discovers that Theo’s hiding a secret that could cause their tenuous relationship to end before it can restart.
All’s Fair in Love and War by Virginia Heath is $2.99 and a KDD! This is book one in the Miss Prentice’s Protegees series. Have you read this one?
A new Regency romp of a series, about governess who believes in cultivating joy in her charges, clashes with the children’s uncle who hired her, only to find herself falling in love.
When the flighty older sister of former naval captain, Henry Kincaid, decides on a whim to accompany her explorer husband on an expedition to Egypt, he finds himself unwittingly left in the lurch with her three unruly children and her giant, mad dog. With no clue how to manage the little rascals, a busy career at the Admiralty that requires all of his attention, and no idea when his sister is coming back, Harry has to hire an emergency governess to ensure that everything in his ordered house continues to run shipshape. In desperation, he goes to Miss Prentice’s School for Girls prepared to pay whatever it takes to get a governess quick sharp to bring order to the chaos.
Thanks to her miserable, strict upbringing, fledgling governess Georgina Rowe does not subscribe to the ethos that children should be seen and not heard. She believes childhood should be everything that hers wasn’t, filled with laughter, adventure, and discovery. Thankfully, the three Pendleton children she has been tasked with looking after are already delightfully bohemian and instantly embrace her unconventional educational ethos. Their staid, stickler-for-the-rules uncle, however, is another matter entirely…
April 21st, 2025: Hey, did you know I wrote a choose-your-own-path STAR TREK: LOWER DECKS book last year? Well GOOD NEWS EITHER WAY, it's a finalist for both a Hugo and an Aurora award! That is extremely awesome and I'm very happy. If you've ever wanted to read an interactive AWARD-NOMINATED Star Trek comic, might I recommend WARP YOUR OWN WAY??
CW: So many tragic events are described in this book. They all happen historically but in the telling, their force is felt. These include multiple deaths, estrangements, adoptions and a cult. It’s intense.
Ed.note: I typically call these “grief books” and Lara confirms that’s an apt description.
I dithered for a week before starting this book. I had it in my possession, but couldn’t get past the first page. I’m not sure if this is unique to me, but when I’m really looking forward to something, it’s very difficult for me to start it. Then, one morning I bit the bullet and pushed through to page two. From there, I tore through the book, snatching reading time wherever I could until I finished it this evening.
Afterward, I think I felt every emotion there is to feel.
Alice and Hayden are writers who are in a small town in coastal Georgia to try out for the post of being Margaret Ives’ biographer. Margaret Ives now lives a reclusive life under a different name and works as a mosaic artist in said coastal town. She’s in her 80s and has lived an incredibly big life, much of it played out in the tabloids. She comes from a very wealthy media mogul family and she quickly became the ‘Tabloid Princess’. Now she is ready to tell her story, her way.
Margaret’s story takes up a big chunk of the book and it is an incredibly tragic one. A romance novel promises only a HEA for our main couple. There’s no promise for a HEA for her so I felt I was risking my heart a bit reading this book. The suffering in Margaret’s life made it tough going for me. I was very worried about what would happen to Margaret at the end. If, like me, you can only go through emotional turmoil in a book if you know that things will at least kind of work out, then click below to see whether it’s a HEA or not for Margaret.
Ending spoiler, but vague about the particulars
It’s sort of an HEA for Margaret, albeit with no romance involved. Not as happy as our main couple, but at least not more tragedy.
Alice focuses on celebrity profiles mostly and other lighter pieces. This would be her first major biography, but she’s passionate about telling it because her dad (who passes away before the book begins) was curious about Margaret’s story. Losing her dad is not the only tragic event of Alice’s life. Her sister had health issues when she was younger and that deeply impacted Alice’s life. There’s also some baggage with her mom. So Alice has a lot going on. All of this is unpacked gradually for the reader, but the bare bones (like I’ve given you here) emerge early on in the book.
At the very start of the book, though, Alice is SUNSHINE PERSONIFIED and at the exact moment I had the thought, ‘She is irritating’, the backstory begins to be revealed and the depth to her personality emerges.
If Alice is sunshine, then Hayden is the grump (although these are such fully fleshed out characters that it feels odd to reduce them to a trope). He’s a taciturn journalist who started out writing about music and then won a Pulitzer when he wrote a biography about someone just as they were losing their memories to dementia. He is initially quite cold with Alice, but that changes, almost against his will.
It’s not that Alice charms him or that he warms up. It’s a bit of both, but it’s also more than that. There is a magnetism between these two that compels them into each other’s path. The repartee had me smiling at my Kindle like a goofball. There are some moments of humour too! These combine to really lift the book into something that’s readable for someone like me who takes ages to recover from books describing tragedies.
Alice and Hayden gradually fall in love and it’s phenomenal to read. The depth, the nuance, the insight. I felt like I knew these people as well as I know my friends. They’re thrown together initially because the first meeting they have with Margaret is a joint one where they find out the terms of this ‘audition’ to be her biographer. They’ll spend a month with Margaret (separately, on alternate days) and once the month is up, each writer must put together a proposal of how they would approach the book.
This coastal town is a tiny one, so they cross each other’s paths multiple times during that month, sometimes accidentally (neighbouring hotel rooms initially) and sometimes purposefully (Alice will sometimes seek Hayden out, wanting to be friends with him because she makes friends with everyone). The transition from competitors to friends to lovers is so gradual that I can’t identify a turning point in their relationship. There is a slow slide that as a reader I just sunk into like one would a hot bath. There is however a steady build in the tension. They both want this job and one of them is going to lose out in the end. What impact will that have on their budding relationship? As a source of conflict, it does the job.
Looking at it more broadly, the characterisation and the deftness of the writing itself is what compelled me to read this book in a day. When I would take breaks to feed my daughter or get the breast pump out, my real life would feel strange and even foreign to me, such was the extent of my immersion in this book. The end of the book was incredibly fast paced as loose ends were wrapped up and at that stage I was helpless and just went where the book told me to go.
I loved this novel. As much as it put me through the emotional wringer, the quality of the writing forced me to keep reading it and I am so very glad that I did. I think the one caution I would add is that this is more women’s fiction than it is contemporary romance. Regardless of genre specifics, Great Big Beautiful Life echoed for days after I finished it. I’m not sure I’ll ever revisit it, but I will certainly remember it.
I got a new camera (a Nikon Coolpix P1100, review coming at some point), and one of the things it does really well is zoom in real close to far away objects. I tried it on the sunset today, and, yup, it got in real close. Enjoy.
At the local nature preserve. No need to pick them! I brought them to you anyway!
And happy Easter, if it is a holiday you celebrate. And if you do celebrate it, I hope you endeavor to live your life in a manner worthy of the redemption that Christ offered you.
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